I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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