we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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