I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize