Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
there is glitter all over my balls
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