East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
