Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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