her facebook's as public as her vagina
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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