So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
They should really pass out barf bags in church
if only i could text you this smell
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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