Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize