Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
