We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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