The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
