There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
