he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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