you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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