it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
