So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize