hell yes lets make some ravioli
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
