I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
