i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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