He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
