I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
