Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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