i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
