Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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