So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
