We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
