i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize