Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
