Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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