He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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