Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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