I am full of burrito and curiosity
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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