hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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