You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
