youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I touched a dick in church today
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
