she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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