Rock
Scissors
Fuck
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize