I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
