Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
