so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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