He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
me + whiskey = a bad person
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
