My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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