he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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