the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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