And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
being pregnant is like rehab
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
