It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
what day is it and did you see me today?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
