Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
