it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
