quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
