you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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