I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
