see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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