you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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