It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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