i think my tv is drunk
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
