and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize