Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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