If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
