He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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