The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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