Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
