In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i think my cat just said my name.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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