can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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