Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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