I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Drunk is not a location!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
